.sifting through the twilight rising.

What you saying to me? I can’t hear
Must have gone n chopped off my ears
Ain’t got the skills to see like Van Gohn
Try to write out these thoughts but really don’t know
How to look into the future, beyond distant starry nights
Swirling, whirling, lights fade from white
To black again
Cloaked from beginning to end
Gullibly hoodwinked
Here and, whoops, I blinked
Take the blame for false pretense
Your lies survived and took away sense
So point a finger at me for naiveté
Too cliché, nothing is ever “come what may”
Touch, pinch, then abruptly sting
With sentiments as clear as colors on a mood ring
Never would’ve been a ring around the Rose anyway
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down from the fray
Mend broken brooms to sweep memories
Of a move that unpacked boxes of fallacies
From east to west
Clean up the mess
Downtown to uptown
All the same sound
But one thing rings true
I’m sorry, who are you?
You’re right, I never really knew

You’ve probably already ready most of these, but these are great words of advice to keep in mind both when enduring difficulties and celebrate the good times. :)

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will very important.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it.
5. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eyes, and make sure it is a genuine apology.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling…
10. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
11. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.
22. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life completely.
23. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, and don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
24. Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Barely just stepped out the house
They are staring, without a doubt
Wherever, whenever, anytime any place
Men can’t turn their eyes away
They long for smooth soft lips
Wanna grab onto both those hips
Ladies wanna look like this
But you gotta be born with my ish
Delicately sexual measure of confidence
Hollywood, modelo, got much promise
But don’t play life like an actress
Always been exponentially above average
I pop and glide icing on the sweetest cake
Ain’t gotta be from Harlem to shake
This body and mind are more than you can handle
To light the fire don’t need more than a candle
I got flava so forget delivery dude
I cook that only savory food
Don’t need monosodium glutamate
To get you addicted to my taste
Think I’m full of my self? Narcissistic?
Maybe if you would stop assuming and listen
You’d know about all those years
I had went thru to get here
The salty cheeks and eyelashes
Suffocated by dust rising up from ashes
So go ahead and spit dirt
I’ll still come out on top, in first
Place a bet on my future
Cuz won’t be scars after the suture
Yeah I’m soltera but I ain’t sola
So think twice before you holla
Haven’t yet found a man
Worthy to be my number one fan
Every time, seem to find
Edgy but refined, modest intellectual mind
Dressed in a suit and tie
Got a grin under wanting eyes
Uptowns with a fitted on top
Don’t matter if it’s a chocolate, vanilla or caramel lolipop
Outgoing, outspoken n sweet for me
But still turns out to be
The same hopeless wild type
Good time, but always first on the mic
It’s aight, ain’t got empty space at night
Santi and body pillow, sleep tight
And fight the urge to emerge
From sanity saved and well deserved
I get a little insecure at times
But go ahead, my head’s securely fastened to remind
Me to move without hesitation
Hold on to patience
Drop the guns n’ carry roses
Watch M Rose step thru 1st, 2nd, 3rd poses
While thirsting for the only fresh taste
To quench desire with every drop, I never waste
Holding onto a secret smile
For the one truly worth while
Stay your own best friend
Cuz it’s down to you at the end
Of the longest day
Maybe you look up and to God you pray
But gotta know the steps of your own feet to chassé
And if you find the joy don’t stay
Don’t wait, go on, girl
Get on back your feet and twirl
Heel toe into a plié
And dance thru life, always

One month
Enough of that stuff
One month
Really, can’t be that tough
Fight for the good life
Hang on, hold tight
To a tightly wound history
Been done before, ain’t no mystery
I’m far too old, far too grown
No more moments forgotten or unknown
Shouldn’t be hard to stop
Only way to come out on top
It’s about damn time for a revolution
And I got this, got the solution

Peel back glossy pages of a magazine
Fold down every desire to be
Not bound but beyond the cover, girl
Hold on to easy breezy n beautiful
Tear the corners of jagged joints
Brightest light blinds the point
Still more than sharp enough
To cut through jerky so tough
With cheap talk easily seen through
What’s not true, no magnum used
But I got the desert eagle without a trace
Pampers to wipe away a chalky face
Fly up into a whirlwind of flames
Clouding sight on streets unnamed
Naw I ain’t born n raised
But at least I ain’t afraid
Been called a dolce drug, most natural high
Still stashing a shank to cut em down to size
More precious than diamonds
Sicker and quicker than slim rhymin
Savvy pale-male-ologist reads lying eyes, knows that disguise
Soon to be buried and fossilized
Won’t help carry baggage over the limit of 50 pounds
Laertes, drink your own poison down
Suffocate as pictures fade to gray
Love is just a risky game well played
Conquered territories but armies gone to waste
Tainted with the strongest taste
Sugar can cleanse tentative senses, so sweet
To sow sour thirst choking defenses against deceit
Baby won’t sit in a corner alone
Nor be cornered by the sick cyclic tri-tone
Piercing the dead of the midsummer night’s
Nightmares fairies’ lullaby can’t even fight
Guided by directionless signs
Mapping lyrical terrain of rhymes
Far-sighted vision looks to steer
Around compassionate cordial veneer
Heart and eyes can’t connect to see
A harsh, cruel, but viciously sheer reality
Two-toned palette giving drags
Dust down disaster with tattered and torn rags
Could throw away, close the book to mark end of a dark age
Or simply tatter the corner and turn a page
Historic village spews salty stench in
Those hazy crazy days saturated with tension
Melted ice floods valves right quick
Drop the beat, retarded cardiac tick
Emphasizes, all that glitters ain’t gold
Box of memories, consider it sold
Must never have been knock down
Can’t be sweep off when you stand on solid ground
Cuz only the touch of a milky rose
Has the strength to deliver an epic KO

Sep 1st, 2009 9:18pm

I hate that I was wondering if it was ever brighter than sunshine… But now, eating some yummy food (Ms. Miller got game when it comes to cooking!!) and watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith. That movie stays sexy!!! And in HD = winnnnn.

Sep 2nd, 2009 4:58pm

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didn’t believe in destiny
I look up you’re standing next to me
What a feeling…

Keep questioning why we go so far

Please dig deeper, mark it with a scar

You only spit measures of ignorance

Failing to comprehend the circumstance

Curb them words and open your eyes

Gotta fall into that poverty gap to realize

Conviction needed to cover the distance

Where shocks can’t catch resistance

Scaling the narrow precipitous trail

Reaching to hammer the rusted nail

Of humility and forgotten destiny

Carried across the Caribbean Sea

To a deluge of devastating reality

Drowning in acute poverty

Need more than Windex to clean away

Soiled surfaces that sustain naiveté

Unzip the body bag, inhale and breathe

In the strength of this community

Junior, Reina, Abdoni, Lixie

With 20/10 vision they see

The only hope, faith to believe

Empowered to apply their abilities

On hands and knees in heat of the sun

Cutting rebar, mixing cement, 5-3-1

More than welcomed into this town

Seeking to help, but we found

They have so much to offer

Such vitality and joy can stir

Even a bitter heart of stone

Vanity and shallow minds dethroned

In these homes of Pajarillos

We are strangers but embraced like hijas and hijos

Thank you for sharing your story

Thank you for bringing life to me

Warmth from smiles on your faces

Gives light to blind shadows and replaces

Preconceived notions

Rejecting the motions

Remembering how to truly experience

Honor the opportunity to make a difference

I promise the vow to return is true

I promise to see it through

Assuming responsibility to share

Making others aware

Cuz nothing can compare

To you.

Done letting it affect the smile on my face

Relieved all quickly fell from grace

Cuz now I see the true colors

Not a lover but Don Juan undercover

Amused by those public displays

Of an affected heart and immature ways

Don’t expect me to demonstrate hatred

Kill em with kindness you always said

And actions speak louder than words

Watching civil manners go unheard

From headphones pressing on temples

Drilling into bad examples

Separating a mind tossed and torn

Plagued by a youthful innocence scorned

Despite it all there is potential

If only you seek that which is essential

Reinventing won’t get you thru

History will still get the better of you

Never let you get the best of me

Only a true devoted love will see

To the very heart of this pretty baby

And always will be a loyal lady

I really would like to know what happens next…  Tonight I thought I’d take some time for me and just relax.  And now I remember why I don’t like free time and I always make sure to overload myself… so I don’t have time to think!! I can have patience, but it ain’t always easy.

In the meantime, I think I’ll just dance… there’s freedom in the movement. Power in the music. And I can use a healthy distraction.

Street.

Hip-Hop.

Modern.

Latin.

Ballet.

Ballroom.

I miss you all and you will keep me busy for the next few weeks. You will empty my wallet too, but at least I will be taking “free time” and doing something I love…